Love and Loss

I just finished reading a love story today. It reminded me what my English literature professor told us about stories. She said that there has only ever been two subjects that stories talk about: love and loss. Of course, that's probably an oversimplification but then after careful consideration, I do think that behind the story of the thing we call "life" from which almost every other story is set upon, that adage contains truth in it.

There are a few questions that I would like to address, more to myself than anyone, as a form of catharsis I guess. The first question is: Will you bear to risk loving someone even though you know for a fact that you will get hurt, you will feel broken, and you will be reminded of those moments when you felt so alive because you were with that person, all the while knowing that you will never be able to hold that person again? Are you willing to love someone even though it will probably cause the most intense pain you would ever feel?

Nobody likes pain. Nobody likes to feel so hopeless and distraught, and not having any control over it. But pain is a fundamental reality in life. We cannot run from it and we cannot pretend that it's not there because then we would be deceiving ourselves. We have to accept that pain is a part of life. From birth to death, pain is present in this world. Trying to shut ourselves from pain would most likely lead to disillusionment. However, we should be careful not to let pain take over either.

Knowing that pain will be there whatever the circumstances may be, I think I would rather love and be loved, and experience pain and loss along the way because I'm human and I wasn't created to be shut out from the world. I have thoughts, memories, senses, feelings, and emotions; life would be dull if everything would be "rainbows and skittles," borrowing Matt Chandler's words. As the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.

My second question is: Will there be happiness if there was no pain? I know this is deeper and more philosophical than the previous question but think about it, will we ever have a concept of what happy is like if we didn't know what the opposite is? Pain is what grounds me in reality, it is what sobers me. Ironically, many people to drown the pain by getting drunk. I can't blame them but there must be an alternative to that. Again, we are creatures with emotions, and we cannot see the fullness of life without experiencing the spectrum of emotions that go along with it.

Life is not all doom and gloom. I'm just pointing out, mostly to myself, that pain is a truth we have to accept. All of us will die some day and we will pass from this world to eternity. But we should never close ourselves out from others just because we're afraid of going through this. Because the fact of the matter is, it will happen to all of us, no exceptions. We can't appreciate the fullness of life without considering and accepting all aspects of it.

Right now, my family and I are spending our holiday vacation together. We brought our uncle home from abroad to be with us for my grandmother's 79th birthday. We have no idea how long she has got in the world but it would be best for her to spend this time with her family. Truly, we have been showered with blessings but I believe the most important thing is the bond, the relationship our family has.