Dilemmas of a Writer: Struggling to Find the Right Words

Photo by Calum MacAulay on Unsplash

My friend has this mannerism. Whenever we chat especially about profound things, she would pause and tell me, “I’m trying to construct the right sentence.” She does this in order to express her thoughts as clearly as possible. It’s a running joke between us to just express ourselves through dance or movement.

However I found that I’m afflicted with the same syntactic bug. I just don’t blurt it out loud.

What It's Like

But this is how it’s like. You can picture something perfectly in your mind but when you put it to paper or write it down, it ends up falling short of your expectations. I have found this to be the case when I try to write stories. When I try to picture a scene, it plays out beautifully.

In my mind, I know what’s going to happen. I can see the details but once I try to write it down, it’s like I’m blanking out. The feeling is similar to when you are having stage fright. You’ve practiced your lines and blocking countless times but when you’re on that stage, you just freeze. That’s somewhat how it feels to struggle with finding the right words.

You can also imagine it as when a guy tries to ask out a girl. You know what you’re going to say and you practice saying it. But when the moment comes, you stutter and fumble around with your sleeves or your watch. You pace a bit. Your eyes wander about, not able to look her straight in the eye. The words come out all jumbled.

In other cases, you come up with a way to describe an action, an event, a character, or an idea. It sounds beautifully brilliant in your mind. Or so you thought. Later on, you find out, it’s complete trash.

The Struggle is Real

Trying to find the right words or the right way to say something is a real struggle for writers. It’s completely agonizing. You might think, “But you’re a writer. Shouldn’t that come naturally to you?” No. Absolutely not. We’re not dictionaries. And we weren’t born with a built-in spell-check or grammar detector.

The job of the writer is to try to put ideas into words. Another way of putting it is to try to make sense out of and bring order into the chaos that surrounds us. That doesn’t mean that we can always do so in an awe-inspiring way.

How To Deal

Sometimes the best thing to do is to say something in a way that comes naturally to you. Being sincere about yourself and your limits helps a lot. Perhaps the best way to express something is the simplest way. You don’t have to be overly elaborate or concoct something convoluted. Use words that you are comfortable with. This also helps shape your voice in writing. It can capture your personality when you write.

If you’re not satisfied that you can’t find the right words, maybe you should just act it out or use movement. Or you can use pictures. Then perhaps, once you’ve been able to express it in another way, you can think of the right words to write or say.