Understanding Other People's Situation And Comforting Them

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Sean Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Empathy. This is the word used to describe the idiom "putting yourself in another person's shoes." Many people today have slumped into depression. Many are lonely, discouraged, grumpy, and frustrated because they feel misunderstood by the rest of the world.

Teenagers would probably have the feeling that no one understands them or cares for them. I have also found myself in this situation before and I think that is because we lack empathy, not for ourselves but for others. Instead of understanding other people first, we tend to look at our own condition and wallow in self-pity.

I believe Sean Covey was correct when he said that we must first seek to understand and then to be understood. Instead of focusing on our own problems, I think it is better to help shift our attention away from ourselves and try to help others with their problems. Galatians 6:2 tells us, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

When other people feel distressed or depressed, I think the best thing that can help them is human company and understanding. They need someone to just listen to them and be there for them.

As Christians, when we are troubled or going through problems, we can share each other's load and pray for one another. We do not have to face our problems alone. We have a whole family of believers who support us and we have the Holy Spirit who is our Counselor and Comforter.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says this, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

Whenever we have problems, we can always count on God that He will comfort us and as His promise says that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Just as God understands our problems and takes care of us, so we too empathize others and comfort them in their time of need.

I think that wallowing and complaining and blaming others about our problems worsens our situation because we tend to be self-centered and put all the load upon ourselves thinking that we do not deserve it even though problems, struggles, troubles, and trials will always be present in our lives.

What we can do when we have problems is "to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:2-3

Also, as Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

With all this, we need to bear each other's burdens and hope in the Lord Jesus Christ and trust in God the Father that He will comfort us in our time of distress and He will deliver us from our troubles. The Holy Spirit, who is our Comforter, will also give us strength to endure and persevere.

Whenever we have problems, we need not to worry or fear because God is with us. When others seem depressed or heavy with problems, then we can share the load that they bear so that they can have comfort just as God has given us comfort.

When people are experiencing certain struggles that we have already encountered or we are currently facing, then we can help each other out and build one another up.

It is also a wise practice to listen to others' problems and thoroughly think about it before you give any comments or advice. Never dish out backlash against other people or harshly criticize them but rather be gentle when giving comfort, advice, or support. Better yet, if you have nothing good to say to help them, just shut up and listen to them and give them a hug.

When somebody has done wrong, do not shame them or condemn them but correct them in love and restore them with gentleness. It is better to do this privately rather than in public because it would humiliate them instead of building them up.

In relating with other people, we need to understand their situation first before we react or do any rash thing that we would later regret. When we truly care and love others, then we need to take a step back, humble ourselves, listen to their story, and comfort or encourage them.